


Paper Echoes

by Maggiemaye



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Letters, Reincarnation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggiemaye/pseuds/Maggiemaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili had never gotten an actual snail-mail letter before, at least not a personal one. And yes, technically this letter wasn’t for him, but it had still arrived at his door. It was weird, and Kili was always drawn to curiosities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Echoes

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to a prompt from helia several months ago. I've had it on the back burner for a while, and I'm really excited to show it to you guys. Because one more reincarnation AU never hurt anyone :)

The handwriting was tiny and neat, the stamp placed perfectly straight in the corner. _Tauriel Woods,_ the return address read. Kili had never heard that name before.

The address was unfamiliar too. _Legolas Greenleaf,_ it read, and Kili scrunched his brow. Obviously the letter had gotten lost in the mail, mixed in with the pile of bills and junk that graced Kili’s doorstep every day. He could return it to the post office, and see that it reached this Legolas person eventually.

But, then again…

Kili had never gotten an actual snail-mail letter before, at least not a personal one. And yes, technically this letter wasn’t for him, but it had still arrived at his door. It was _weird_ , and Kili was always drawn to curiosities.

He ripped the envelope open. It was sealed tight, as if to guard the contents.  

The weighty, cream-colored stationery reminded Kili of wedding invitations, or the college acceptance letters Fili had gotten in the mail years ago. This was not paper that invited a give-and-take. This was an announcement.

Even weirder.

Kili flipped the paper over and began reading, eyebrows flying higher and higher.

_Dear Legolas,_

_This is probably a terrible idea._

_But I wanted to tell you, again, that I’m sorry for the way things happened. The look on your face stays with me, that look of horror when you realized I wasn’t going to say it back to you. I wish that I could have said something useful in that moment, something to make it all come clear. But I’m not sure what else would have helped. Perhaps this letter will have much of the same effect—meaningless words that just make this all worse for you. I’m sorry for that, too._

_But I need to explain, or try to explain, what I meant when I tried to answer your question. If not you, what do I want? It’s difficult to say. But I can tell you that I haven’t been alive, really alive, in years. And I need to try for that feeling again. You are warmth and security, nostalgia, a safe place—all the things a lifelong friend should be. But I’ve been in my own safe place for too long, I think. I want to find risk again._

_That doesn’t make any sense. Even in my own mind it sounds weak and silly. I hate it, because the two of us should make so much sense. You and I both know, though, that building a life on things that ‘should have worked’ never works._

_I hope we can talk again someday. Your friendship has been the strongest bond of my life. Whatever you’re doing, whether or not you even read this, I send you love._

_-Tauriel_

Kili’s eyes were wide as saucers by the time he finished reading. Holy _crap._ He was glad he wasn’t this Legolas person. But, if he was honest, it was kind of a rush being able to glance into other people’s lives.

Grinning, he got out a pen and paper. It had been quite a while since he’d stuck his nose where it didn’t belong.

* * *

 

 

Her walk home from the office was one of the nicest parts of Tauriel’s day. Some days, it was the only nice part. Especially in the fall, when the trees caught fire and foliage began to float down around her as she walked underneath them. More than once, Tauriel had walked right past her building because she was so caught up in staring at the trees, wondering what the view would be like from the top of one.

She went to check her mail first. Tucked in amongst the usual bills was a much smaller envelope, the address scrawled in blue ink. Blue ink was one of Tauriel’s biggest pet peeves.

She opened it anyway.

_Tauriel,_

_Your letter came to my mailbox today, but it wasn’t meant for me. I read it anyway, though, and I really tried to be sorry about it._

_Honestly, I think it’s a good thing this didn’t make it to wherever it was supposed to go. Not that what you said isn’t important, but as a guy, I can pretty much assure you that he won’t listen to it right now. Let the embarrassment clear out of his head first, and then I’d be willing to bet he comes around. It sounds like you’ve been friends for a long time, and nobody wants to lose something like that. No matter how much he might act like it doesn’t matter to him. It does. Males are just supposed to be really good at hiding those things._

_Also, for the record, what you said makes total sense. Reality doesn’t always match up with what you expect. But that gap between them? That’s where you find the risk you’re looking for. There’s a lot of exciting things out there. You probably run across some all the time without even realizing it. Good luck and happy hunting._

_-Kili Durinson_

Tauriel scanned the note once, then twice, and then a third time. By the fourth read-through, she had her favorite pen in her hand, finding herself thoroughly charmed.

* * *

 

He didn’t tell anyone about his strange pen pal, not even his brother. That was just an invitation for more embarrassment.

He’d started to feel stupid immediately after mailing the note. The specifics of what he’d written had already escaped him, but Kili was left with this nagging feeling that it was too personal, too much. It definitely hadn’t felt anything like the conversations he had with his friends or family. There had been something about the cadence of her words, though, that inspired him. His pen had moved freely, scrawling words that had felt so important at the time. Kili wished he had made a copy of it, just so he’d know exactly how foolish he’d made himself seem.

She probably wouldn’t write back anyway, Kili told himself, and it would all go away soon.

He told himself this until he got back to his place and saw an envelope made of familiar heavy paper waiting for him.

_Kili,_

_You sound as if you speak from experience, and I envy you. I would love to know what it’s like to feel wonder again. And it’s funny, when I was younger all I wanted was to feel comfortable. Stable. I went to business school for that specific reason. Everyone said it was a fitting choice for me, and it was. I like having something I’m good at. But after so long in libraries, in offices, in buildings…the walls begin to close in. Is there not magic left? Can a person outgrow magic?_

_The stars are bright tonight and I hear them whispering. And today a letter came to my door from someone I’ve never met. Maybe this is where it all starts._

_Please don’t feel like you have to write to me again, if you think it’s strange. I just think it’s interesting, knowing there is someone out there who has read these words. I would never have said them out loud to anyone. And in the morning I’ll probably be mortified, but it’s Friday night and I’ve had two and a half glasses of wine. So screw it, I suppose. I hope to hear from you again, but if not I’ll understand._

_-Tauriel_

Kili smiled as he reached for his blue pen. It wasn’t even a question.

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us?” Eowyn asked her, as if she expected a different answer this time.

“I think so.” Tauriel smiled at her. “I appreciate it, but I should probably get home.”

“Okay. Have a good weekend, then.” She waved and caught Arwen at the door. The third Friday of the months was karaoke night, always. Tauriel knew this not from experience, but from seeing the photos Eowyn would show her the following Monday. It did look kind of fun, but Tauriel couldn’t see herself actually participating. She didn’t have any regrets as she logged out of her computer and locked the doors behind her.

She might have walked home a little more quickly than usual that evening. Maybe her hand was closed around the letter opener in her pocket, anticipating. In her mind were images of words scrawled in blue ink, words that her mind might turn over and over in the silence of her kitchen. Tauriel didn’t remember what she’d said to Kili in her last note, which was probably for the best. She probably hadn’t even made any sense at all. But there had been something so meaningful about the writing of it, bypassing speech entirely and letting her thoughts translate with the movement of her pen.

Surely enough, there was a letter waiting for her, and Tauriel tried not to feel like a teenager who had just found a note in her locker.

_Tauriel,_

_It is strange, you’re right. But here I am, writing back to you. So we’re both strange—but I guess it’s nice to know we’re not alone in being strange. Don’t know how much of a comfort that is to you, but there it is._

_I wouldn’t know anything about offices. I work in the old mine outside of the city; it’s a family business of sorts. My brother handles the accounting while I do more of the labor. People think I’m dumb because I didn’t go to college. Maybe I am, who knows. But I like what I do and I knew what I wanted. I like seeing that things look different at the end of the day because of me._

_I’ve never sat down and explained that before. Or taken that much time to think about it, really. In a way my life has been about doing what’s expected of me. Following my uncle and my brother into the family business. But I was happy to do it. I was, and yet lately I’ve been catching myself wondering what things would be like if I just took off and left everything. I’d like to go somewhere I’ve never been, do something wild, you know?_

_Pointless thoughts, basically. But it’s nice to think that some faceless person is out there listening._

_The other day I saw a woman with long red hair, and for some reason I thought it was you? Just for a second I was positive. I almost called your name, even. But then I remembered that I have no idea what you look like. It was the weirdest thing. I’d say ‘You probably think I’m crazy’ but we’ve already established that we’re both strange. Two of a kind, maybe._

_-Kili_

Tauriel didn’t realize that she was trailing the words with her fingertips, until she’d traced the same phrase over and over again.

_Do something wild, you know?_

* * *

“So, she just started writing to you out of nowhere?”

“Not to _me,”_ Kili explained to his brother with an impatient sigh. “To someone else. The letter just got sent to me. And I responded, one thing led to another…”

He shrugged. It might have been a mistake telling Fili. His brother wasn’t trying to be mean or malicious, Kili knew. He just…didn’t understand.

“Kili. This is weird.”

“Probably.” He shrugged again and turned back to whatever he was doing.

“So, are you going to show them to me?”

 _“No,”_ he bit back, a split second before he realized Fili was joking.

“Kidding, Kil.” Fili held up his hands. Kili laughed it off and let it blow over, and the day continued just like normal. But it was a relief to get home, and even more so to see Tauriel’s now-familiar handwriting.

_Kili,_

_It’s actually really funny you should say that, because long red hair happens to be one of my more noticeable features. Maybe it was me that you saw. I like to think it might have been. It’s only reasonable that we might have crossed paths before and never known it at all._

_And as for the rest. It seems to me that those are reasons to trust your intelligence, not cast it into doubt. College doesn’t make anyone smarter, really, it just teaches you discipline. Which anyone can learn doing just about anything._

_If I ever said that at work I think I’d get laughed out of the office. Do you ever feel like you’re two different people, Kili? As if you’re just watching yourself go through the motions of life, or like there’s another person inside you that you don’t introduce to your coworkers. I think about that sometimes. It’s usually not an upsetting thing, but it isn’t always so easy to be in the real world when a part of me is wandering off, dreaming._

_Rambling again. I send you my rambles before I have the chance to talk myself out of it. Mailing these letters to you is the biggest adrenaline rush of my week, which shows how much excitement there is in my life. For your sake, I hope you can’t say the same._

_-Tauriel_

Kili had to laugh. Little did she know that her letters were quickly becoming the centerpiece of his week, with the rest of his world orbiting around his mailbox.

* * *

 

She’d scared him away. Tauriel knew it. It had been over two weeks since Kili had written to her, and she cringed every time she thought about her last letter (which was more often than she might like to admit.) All the talk of double lives and dual personalities had probably made him realize that he didn’t want to speak to her anymore. It had only ever been a matter of time, she supposed, before she said something that was just _too_ odd.

“Tauriel?”

Eowyn’s voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

“Yes?”

“I’ve called your name three times. Are you all right?”

“Of course I am,” Tauriel replied, trying to smile. “I was just lost in thought.”

Eowyn peered at her.

“Okay. Who is it?”

“Who is who?” Tauriel feigned ignorance and tried not to feel the flush creeping up her neck.

“The person that’s got you all spacey and preoccupied.”

“I’m not preoccupied, I just—“

“Tauriel. You are more preoccupied than I’ve ever seen you. And believe me, I _know_ preoccupied.” They both grinned, thinking of the debilitating crush Eowyn had harbored for their general manager the first two years they’d worked together.

“I suppose there is a…person. A guy. I thought things were going well, but he hasn’t spoken to me for a while now.”

Tauriel felt silly and a little wrong, talking about Kili as if he was someone she’d met on a dating app. Even just talking about him at work felt dangerous, in a way. His letters were special, and they didn’t belong in this fluorescent cave. She shouldn’t have even brought it up. But Eowyn was smiling gently.

“If it’s worth it, you’ll talk again soon. And if not, it’ll pass. Trust me.”

Tauriel smiled back at her. She and Eowyn had worked together for five years now, and this was the first time she’d confided much of anything about her personal life. It felt…nice. The thought cheered her up a little as she walked home to check her mailbox with shaking fingers.

The sight of his blue scrawl nearly buckled her knees underneath her. She opened the envelope with her nails, not even bothering with her letter opener this time.

_Tauriel,_

_I know it’s been longer than usual. I was trying to think of what to say. It’s really late and I probably shouldn’t send this at all. But I need to figure this out._

_I think I dreamed about you last night? I don’t even know what you look like, but I knew it was you. We were walking, there was hazy white light and there were trees all around us. And then you stopped and handed me a rock, with something carved into it. You put it in my hand and closed my fist around it. You pushed my hair back and you said, “We can keep our promise now.”_

_It was…intense. I’ve been trying to understand why I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s why it’s been so long since I’ve written. I just didn’t know what to say to you. You’ve seen inside my head, Tauriel. That’s what these letters feel like._

_I don’t know. I’m sorry if I scared you, but that dream felt more real than most things that happen to me while I’m awake. I don’t know what to think, and I’m trying really hard not to be creepy, but I don’t want this to keep you from writing to me again. I’d miss you if you stopped._

_-Kili_

Tauriel’s breath caught in her throat. She re-read the letter until the word “promise” became blurred with tears that came from absolutely nowhere.

* * *

Fili gave him weird looks all week, but Kili barely noticed. He never said a word about the dream or the letter, of course, but he still felt stripped totally bare everywhere he went. He couldn’t believe he had been so candid with Tauriel. At the time he’d been desperate for some sort of answer, but now the thought of her reading about that dream made him want to throw up.

He’d told her the dream had been intense. But the word he’d really wanted to use was _intimate._ There had been nothing sexual about it, not even an undertone. But the feel of her hand on his face had been a stronger connection, physical or otherwise, than any he could remember in his waking life. Even several days later, the feeling wouldn’t leave him.

Her letter was right on schedule, of course. Dread washed over Kili when he saw it, but underneath was the usual spark of anticipation that came with hearing from her. Not even his most mortifying confession could put that out, it seemed.

_Kili,_

_I think that we should meet._

_I turned thirty-one last night. It was a Friday, and I finally took my coworkers up on their offer to go to karaoke with them. I took shots and sang ‘Wrecking Ball’ like a college kid. It was the most exhilarating thing I’ve done in quite a while, honestly. And I looked out at the people in that bar, and I realized that the only person I really wanted to see was you. I wanted to tell you all about it because you were right. I don’t have to look far to find excitement, wonder, or magic. I might not have ever realized that if it weren’t for you. And I don’t think I can properly thank you for that unless I see your face._

_I’d also like to hear more about your dream sometime. But I get the sense that it’s something best spoken about in person._

_-Tauriel_

* * *

“But what if you meet her and don’t want to sleep with her? Or she doesn’t want to sleep with you?”

“Then…we won’t sleep together?” Kili didn’t know why it was so hard for Fili to understand. “We’re friends,” he went on, although as he said the word he knew that it wasn’t quite adequate.

He thought about the agreement they’d made. Tauriel had picked the restaurant and told him she’d be waiting on the patio. Probably reading the paper. Kili was sure he’d recognize her. It had been a while since he’d dreamed of her, but it was only getting sharper and clearer in his memory.

* * *

 

 

She was pretty sure Kili gulped when he met her eyes at the restaurant, which was incredibly sweet and a big boost to her ego. But it only took a moment for him to smile at her, and in an instant Tauriel was the one feeling off-balance. She thought he must have more summer and light in his eyes than she could process in one glance. Butterflies began taking giddy flight in her stomach.

Tauriel felt as though there was something just beneath the surface of her thoughts, stirring to life at the sight of his dark hair and the dimple in his left cheek. Something outside the door, knocking and knocking. It made her breathless.

She smiled back.

* * *

 

 

They stayed at their table long after their plates had been cleared. It had taken a few tries to find a rhythm of conversation—without pen and paper it was surprisingly different—but eventually Kili started to feel less exposed and more relieved to be near her. He hadn’t been able to work up the courage to bring up the dream just yet. But he was enjoying talking with her about everyday things, and he thought maybe that conversation could wait for another time.

He was just congratulating himself on not doing anything dumb throughout the entire meal, when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He scooted back from the wall, a knee-jerk reaction.

“Spider, oh Jesus—“

Kili searched around for something to kill it with, but a sudden whack near his head stopped him. Tauriel had beaten him to it, smacking her rolled-up newspaper against the wall. The spider didn’t seem nearly as big or terrifying as Kili had imagined once it was squished, and he tried to cover his flush by clearing his throat. She just swept a stray tendril of hair back behind her ear, her mission accomplished. Kili felt himself gawking.

Tauriel giggled a bit, and Kili thought about how a person could seem young and old at the same time.

“Do you want to go out again?” he blurted out. “Sometime soon?”

It was a while before she replied, but she moved to place her hand over his on the table. Kili held his breath as she traced his knuckles with shaking fingertips. When she looked back up at him she was blushing bright red. Kili gripped her fingers in his own, trying to calm their trembling. If she was feeling anything like he was at the moment, she had to be overwhelmed. His head hadn’t stopped spinning since he’d sat down. Tauriel looked like she might be getting her bearings, too.

Eventually, though, she squeezed his hand in return.

“I’d like that.”

Her hand was pleasantly cool, just as he remembered it.


End file.
